My Charming Boy

Just a quick post, something for me to remember forever and always.

We all went to see "Go Dog Go" today at the Northwest Children's Theater. Kids thought it was great, I thought it was great for the kids. I don't actually care if I remember it or not. But, when we got back from intermission I told Zach that it was chilly in the theater. As he begins to ask if I would like his coat, Little D stops him and says "No, Mama, here take my coat" and then took of his coat and draped it over me. Well, OK its a bit much to say that his tiny coat draped - it covered me like a napkin tucked into my collar - but it warmed me all the way to my soul. That little guy is maybe the sweetest thing I know.

Far better than it could be...

I haven't been posting lately because I have been very extremely busy. And just. so. tired.
Work is not the greatest right now, the weather is gray, dreary, and mostly wet. Zach has been so busy and crazed from work and I thought he was going to burn the house down because he found rats in the basement. My new car has a lovely new car smell which can only be squelched by the immense guilt in the pit of my stomach that plagues me every time I even think about the car, a guilt that grows as I literally watch the meter on the gas gauge sink as I drive. I am worried about which school is best for the kids, stressed that our nation is owned by the greediest bunch of assholes in the whole wide world. Worried that everything I do in my life is participating in the destruction of our planet...

And yet... oh boy. I am overwhelmed by the meaninglessness of each and every one of my worries in comparison with what is happening in Japan. I watch the videos of the tsunami and wonder how I could possibly imagine that I have anything wrong with my life. I do not believe in god, do not believe in much of anything but science and being good and kind to one another because its right. But I can't shake the feeling that if I get too wrapped up in my daily humdrum worries, life will knock me on my butt with a horrible wake up call. You think you've got problems now? Wait 'til you get a load of what I have in store for you...

When my sister and I were teens and would complain about not getting enough sleep, my mom used to say "Its just tired." and we didn't understand. And then I had babies, and nights upon nights of waaay too little sleep. I stumbled through days in a daze, and still managed to survive - taking care of a small helpless baby at the same time! And now tired doesn't phase me at all. The kind of tired I face now is nothing in comparison to the baby times. I feel like my problems and stresses right now are all just background noise, stuff to take the place of real problems. If something really bad happened to me or my family I wouldn't give a second thought to any of the things I stress about now.

So, I will give money to the Red Cross. I will worry for the people of Japan. I will keep my eye on the potential for nuclear meltdown... but I wil also try to honor the people who are suffering in a different way. I will make an effort to let more of the pointless worry go away. I will try to feel more thankful everyday for the bounty of happiness and health I am lucky enough to have. I cannot comprehend what the people in Japan are dealing with right now, but I can make sure to appreciate my lack of comprehension...

Here is my little shuffleboard player... I am thinking of taking her to a retirement center to play some shuffleboard with the elderly. I think they would get a big kick out of her, and she loves her some shuffleboard, and being the center of attention.

The Boy

I am sitting here after too much work today listening to Peggy Orenstein talk about her book "Cinderella Ate My Daughter." After having one of each gender, I can say with all my heart that so much of who they are is in their base genetic code. The inherent "girliness" or "boyishness" is a piece of them. I think that we can exacerbate it to an extent - perhaps sometimes to their harm - but at the lowest level, they like what they like. Neither of my kids are at the gender extremes, and I think they both help to pull each other into a healthy middle. Davinci enjoys princess movies but is by no means obsessed with them (in fact her obsession is reserved for the Nightmare Before Christmas). Little D likes knights and spooky things but is not car, machine or ball obsessed. Basically, Zach and I have created a carbon copy of each of us. I know you might say it was our parenting that made them this way, and again, that accounts for some of it but by no means all (or even most) of it. I am thankful that they are not so easily fit into the boxes of their genders, but I believe it has much less to do with our parenting than it does with our DNA.

As I listened to Orenstein talk, I was reminded of when the true extent of Little D's Boyness was thrust upon me. He was two-and-a-half and I was dropping him off at his hippy dippy preschool, where they eat quinoa and all of the toys are made of wood and silk. Two of the boys are up in the loft, pointing combs menacingly at everyone below. Little D sees this, and rushes up to the loft to join them. I thought "Oh man, why can't he just go play with the kitchen stuff like he usually does?" when he sweetly picks up a baby doll from her crib in the loft. My heart soars with the sight of my sweet little nurturing boy in the midst of so much violence. And then. Then he flips the doll onto her back, pointing her head-first towards the people below, aiming her like a gun - a word which he at this point did not even know, much less had he seen one used in all of the Little Bears, Koala Brothers, or Maggie and the Ferocious Beasts he had watched on TV. My son, turning innocent dolls into weapons of doom.

P.S. Two weeks ago at work I was worried that we would not have enough teen volunteer applicants for us to be able to be picky and select the cream of the crop... Well now applications are open for one more day, and we have almost 3 times as many applicants as spaces available... be careful what you wish for.

The Naked Knight

So, my people like to stay home way more than I do. I think that often when I am home, I am thinking of all the other stuff I need to get done and see the messes that need to be cleaned. When we are out doing family stuff, I can just enjoy what we are doing and be more fully in the moment. Zach and the kids would rather stay inside all day doing a million and one different things (most of which add enormously to the mess in the house) from the comfort of their pajamas. Well, Little D sometimes dispenses with the need for his pajama bottoms... Here he is busily setting "traps" all over the house - this yarn covered two flights of our house and was carefully wrapped in, out, over, under and through many of the items in our house. This kept him very busy for an extended amount of time, and is well worth the mess. At the end I reclaimed pieces that were easy and broke the yarn in two when I got to a knot. So now we have about 6 smaller balls of yarn for future traps.

So while Little D set traps and DaVinci was re-reading the Hobbit (she and Zach just finished reading it together and she LOVED it), I went out with the dog - the one member of the house who is always eager to go out - to the dog park. Later Zach and DaVinci walked down to the video store to rent "The Hobbit" - the animated version from the 70's (Did you know that in the new Hobbit, Bilbo will be played by Martin Freeman - "Tim" from the original British "The Office?" I love him, and can't wait to see it!).  We watched the Hobbit with the kids at rest time, and Davinci was super excited that the film featured many of the "songs" from the book. She is the ONLY person I know who likes the songs.

Early this evening we had a sitter over while we saw "The Last Circus" to finish out the round of five Portland International Film Festival movies I have seen over the last two weeks. It was crazy crazy crazy, fun, weird, and I cannot recommend it to everyone, but I had a blast seeing it. Definitely the most memorable thing I saw this year. The other films I caught at the festival: "Good Morning to the World" - Japanese movie that was just so-so, but fun to hear Japanese interchanges, so different from Americans. "Boy" - Adorable film from New Zealand that I can easily recommend to ANYONE. "Even the Rain" - great movie from Spain which was simultaneously about the atrocities of Christopher Columbus "discovering" the new world and the modern day struggles in Bolivia starring Gael Garcia Bernal who is adorable. The pretense was that we were watching a film crew making a movie about Columbus in Bolivia and we got to see scenes from that movie. It really made me want a "true story of Columbus" movie. "Of Love and Other Demons" - a Spanish movie not to be confused with Jake and Anne's "Love and Other Drugs in theaters now. I think this is the movie that people picture when they hear that I am going to a film festival. Boring, with lots of sssslllooowww scenes where people look wistfully at each other while a woman chants acapella. So now you are thinking - "No wonder she can't keep up a blog, she is at movies all the time!" This was a lot of movies, even for me.

Admitting the truth

Ok... So its becoming increasingly obvious that I cannot do all these things... I am too too too busy. Some of the things I am too busy with are fun things (hanging with the kids, pub quiz with friends and family), and many are not fun things (constant housework and an overwhelming amount of work work).

I have been trying to make this blog a part of my daily life, simple snippets to capture what we are doing with our days. I feel like I am travelling to Mars at light speed and trying to tell everyone each thing I see out the window on my way. I am so very busy, and at the end of the night after work, kids, exercise,  house stuff, I really don't want to be responsible for anything else. The daily pressure of the blog is just one more weight on my shoulders and I already feel like I am carrying too much. This pressure happens to coincide with my busiest time of work so I am not super surprised but maybe a little disappointed.

So (deep breath), I am NOT going to do a daily blog. I cannot. Well let's face it I probably could, but I don't want to. I will try to post frequently, but am not going to set myself up for failure at a task that isn't actually necessary to my work or home life. I can fail at plenty of more important things without adding this to the list. Sorry dear readers (of which I think there are 4 of you). Sorry future me with the rude teenagers who is desperately reading this blog in the hopes of remembering a time in which your children love love loved you.

And major props to my friend Sarah, who has a very similarly chaotic life as mine, who manages to find the time to get it all down in writing. Rock on, sister.

As my update for now - it snowed a depressingly small amount last night. When the prospect of snow comes to Portland, it is all anyone talks about for days and days, and it almost always is less impressive than predicted. School was called off (but probably didn't need to be) and the kids went outside early while the snow was still falling to catch some flakes on their tongue and throw snowballs at each other. Tashi was in heaven - her first snow fall and she was scampering all over the yard. Now at 11:00am, it is almost all gone. Bummer.

Little D is reading like a champ. He and I have a goal to finish the learn-to-read book by the time we head to Canada (just under a month from now!) and I think we will make it. He is at the stage now where he is sounding out every word he sees - "No right turn on red," etc. It makes for a very talkative car trip. I am hoping that he will be able to read to himself on the long car ride to Canada.

Running on the wheel...

First off I would like to say that I have an overwhelming sympathy for onions. I think that I may be at the extreme end of the spectrum when it comes to reactions to cutting onions. I feel pretty strong in most aspects, think I have a decently high tolerance for pain (I did push two babies out of my vag with no meds thankyouverymuch) and yet... onions. I love eating them, I like cooking them, but I am a wreck when cutting them. Seriously. And the tears and the pain goes on and on and on.

In other news, I love the fact that I work part time. I LOVE getting to spend so much time with the kids, only having Little D in school 3 days a week, picking up Davinci everyday after school. It is worth so much to me, and I feel fortunate to have worked this situation out. However, I think that it makes both my jobs (at home and at work) MORE busy. I cannot possibly do my job in 20 hours a week, and so I am always pulling extra hours or not getting everything done, which leaves me stressing about work outside even when I'm not working. When I am home I am always trying to fit in all of the things that I think I should be doing with/for the kids, the things that I would do if I didn't have a job. And after they go to bed, at the end of the day, I have a REALLY hard time rallying to do anything productive or useful. If anything I am usually just getting more work done. I think this is also exacerbated right now by the fact that Zach is doing way too much. He works full time, and is at home one day a week to watch Little D while I am at work, AND is taking two grad school classes - including a DOOZY one this quarter. He is either 1) at work, 2) at class, 3) playing with kids or 4) study study studying. I cannot believe his resolve, and I am amazed at how he can do it all. It also makes me appreciate (and sorely miss) the other things he used to do with his time. He has less time for the day to day dishes, pickup, cooking, etc. We usually do a pretty good job of balancing the family duties so I am really feeling it as his time is stretched thin. We are both in general feeling like there is not enough time in the day, and the months and weeks are flying by. I have to remind myself that we are getting in our fun, and one of our main priorities is hanging out with the kids (Davinci, Little D and I had an amazing UNO session tonight). The things that are falling by the wayside are the chores, the exercise, the things that I will not care about when I look back on this time, so I am working to care a little less about them...

Happy Valentine's Day!

Zach and Davinci have been reading The Hobbit every evening before bed. Davinci LOVES it, and will act out scenes on command. When Zach found this plush Gandalf and Orc online, he could not resist. So we gave them to them this morning. We addressed the card to My Preciousssss, and Davinci could not stop chuckling.

People keep asking Zach and I what we are doing for Valentine's day... the only answer I have is that we are reveling in the bounty of what our love has created... by which I mean dinner at home with the kids. We truly truly love each other, we get along 99.9% of the time, we are each other's best friends. With this much love, it feels a bit cumbersome to schedule something romantic on the same night as everyone else. Suck it, Valentine's Day.

We bought a new car. Gulp.

Okay so I think I am a little in denial and haven't taken a picture yet so I will just add it in when I do (and by the way could it please stop raining for a minute? That would really make me more inclined to stop for photos).

We knew we needed to get a new car for a multitude of reasons. We seem to have a lemon Prius. We were so happy to have it, thankful for the energy savings, etc etc. The savings were not so high as we thought (and was advertised) but the mpg was still better than any other car on the road. But then it started having issues. More than one, and the incompetent dealership we had our extended warranty through (*coughRonTonkincough*) didn't seem to understand what was going on or how to fix it. When our warranty expired, we knew we were only weeks to months from the mystery problem recurring and then we would be out thousands of dollars while service people tried to figure out what was wrong.

We were also coming to terms with the fact that for the moment, we may have outgrown a small sedan sized vehicle. I know I know- all of you who know me are laughing your asses off, so happy to see me falling from my high hybrid horse but there you have it. We cannot at this point have a single other person in our car. We cannot even bring a friend home from school. Do others have it worse? You Bet! Would we be okay if we could only have a compact car? Yes, and frankly we would not even notice it most of the time. Hell - we could get by pretty well on just one car again if we needed to. But am I growing just an ickle bit tired of being up here by myself on the high horse? Of driving the tiny car while single people I know drive around in their GIANT SUV's? Yes. I am. I do not want a life of driving a big car - in fact I would love to get to the point where I am not rushing from dropoffs to work to pick-ups and that riding my bike and public transportation will once again become a viable option. But for our life now I think the environmental impacts of driving a larger car are outweighed for me by the amount we would utilize the capacity the larger vehicle provides.

So I did my research, looked for a bigger car that wasn't too big. Something that gave us extra people carrying capacity and usable space. What we ended up with was a RAV4 with a 3rd row of seats. The back row folds down into the floor when not in use, making a large trunk space. It has decent gas mileage (when compared to similar or larger cars of course, it sucks compared to any compact car) and is a couple feet shorter than a minivan or full size SUV. The third row will allow us to participate in carpooling, taking friends home from school, driving anyplace with Andrew when he is in town. It will make vacations less of an origami project - I became an expert at filling up every nook and cranny of the Prius to make room for all of the stuff we needed for camping, etc.

Can you tell yet that I have a lot of anxiety and guilt about it still? I have had the weight of the dying of our planet on my shoulders since I first went to outdoor school in 5th grade. Most of the jobs I have ever had has dealt with teaching people about the value and importance of protecting and saving our planet. It feels like a dishonor when I do things I don't HAVE to do that I know have a directly negative impact on the world. I feel guilty getting paper cups at coffee shops, using a ziplock instead of a tupperware, dead batteries make me shudder...

There is a part of me that would love to traipse the Earth as certain others do - to either not know or not care. To think that I am a part of manifest destiny, and that everything around me was put there for my use and abuse. Or maybe I would like to be a native person deep in the Amazon rainforest, left with no choice but to have nothing. To live in the States, with all of the disposable everything all around us, with a pace of life that demands getting from one place to the next quickly, is for me a life of almost constant guilt. I know it is the guilt of the incredibly privileged, the woe of the wealthy, the burden of the burdenless. But it's my guilt dammit.

I put a bird on it and called it art.

I finally did it. I have thought about getting a tattoo for years and years, but could never commit to something that I would want on my body forever. When I turned 30, I decided that I would get a tattoo that represented both kids (because I knew I would never never regret them), and then I just couldn't figure out what it would look like and so I procrastinated some more. Here I am, 33, and I finally did it. I had a great experience with a super nice tattoo artist (Dave from Oddball Tattoo) who helped make it exactly how I pictured it in my head. He sounded excited to be giving me my first tattoo rather than snooty that I was not already covered in tattoos. It was quick, not very painful, and with great results.

And yes, I am now a lady with a shaved head and a tattoo. I will be shopping for motorcycles soon.

The great tease...

Every year when the crocuses peek their heads out all over Portland, I get excited. I immediately fast forward to the next two seasons of cherry blossoms littering the streets, of beautiful summer sun and fat red strawberries. And then, without fail, I am crushed by the remaining months of winter, of rain, of days that never seem to get light enough. When am I going to learn that these are winter blooming flowers? These pretty little things that look so much like spring, like sunshine and happiness, they are either a cruel trick that winter plays, or maybe just a hint of sunshine to tide us over until spring.

By the way, the above photo was taken with my iphone... not too shabby.

Family Game Night

Zach loves boardgames. LOVES. He has tons of games for adults, and an ever growing selection of games for kids. When Davinci started to be able to play games she mostly would like to play them once, conquer them, and be done. Little D is more like Zach and just wants to play play play. Now that he is finally able to play most of the games for kids we have been playing all together and having a blast. This is one of the kids' favorite games right now - Curse of the Mummy. Davinci sits on one side of the board controlling the mummy, while Zach, Little D and I run our adventurers around the tomb hunting for treasure. Super fun, no reading necessary.

Oh and this was our first fever-free day for Davinci, which means she gets to go to school tomorrow!

Shaved in the name of cancer!

Tonight three fellow co-workers and I shaved our heads for this lovely lady to the left, long time ZooGuide Nancy. She is undergoing chemo and feeling very blue about it all (understandably so). We raised over $1000 for the American Cancer Society, and Nancy got to shave all our heads in front of a bunch of the adult volunteers. Nancy had a blast and it was nice to brighten her day. I think I am probably supposed to feel more self-conscious about having a shaved head, but I just can't muster up the energy.

My Sick Valentine

Davinci was home sick again today, with a fever topping out at 103.8 - again! Tylenol is not working for these fevers so I have been forcing cold wet washcloths on her neck, armpits and under the knees. That seems to help, although much more uncomfortably than just medicine.

When her fever broke we started working on valentines for her classmates. Yesterday I asked her to draw one nice valentine-sy picture that we could scan and print out to paste on her cards. She drew what I think was supposed to be two bunnies hugging, but which looks more to me like two bunnies making out - with tongue. Anyway, I printed them out, and she glued and pasted the afternoon away. When we went to the store to buy materials for the cards I also bought a heat gun for really cheap. As I put it in the cart, Little D asked what it was. When I told him that it was a heat gun he reminded me that we do not allow guns in the house. This is one gun that Davinci loves waaayy more than Little D. If she had her choice, we would emboss everything in the house.

Sick... Again... Part 292

DaVinci is sick... AGAIN. When I got home from the beach she had a fever, so I kept her home from school. I had a couple of things I had to do at work so she came with me. When we started out, everything was fine, but by the end she was pathetically laying across two chairs and trying to sleep. At the Zoo... Poor thing.

It is still a marvel to me that the kids are getting so big. They are so much more incredibly capable than they were such a short time ago. I have friends who contemplate having another kid, and whether they can take another beating that is the first year of parenthood. And while I remember how truly trying that time can be - I remember crying in the evening because I couldn't bear the idea of going to bed just to be woken up again - I still say Yes Yes Yes!!! The clearing on the other end of the first year is so beautiful, so fun, so full of joy.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

This is what I saw as I walked up the stairs to my house after another great beach weekend. Two welcome home signs, one from each child. As I walked in the door, there was a display of art, and presents (of more art) to open and admire. Davinci wrote me a note that says "Dear Mama: we had fun wall you were gone, hope you had fun too! hope you enjoy our littele set up. (try not to tear them) we misst you! love: Davinci." This is the other great reason for the beach trip - we missed each other. The advantage of working part time with a flexible schedule is that I am around most of the time. I pick the kids up from school, stay home on school holidays, when they are sick, etc. We have very little time apart (and when we are apart I am really busy working and the kids are busy having a blast at school). It was nice to miss them a little, and even nicer to be missed a little. I know they are in great hands with Zach, and I didn't worry about them (or him) even for a second. But even as I was relishing the quiet of the house, the pleasure of sleeping in, the lack of responsibility, I was thinking about how much fun the rest of the fam would have had at the beach with me.

The Ladies of the Coast

This is my posse (minus one who couldn't make it). We met when we had brand new babies, at the hospital new-mom's group 6 years ago. We now have 13 kids between us, and have been through "the war" together. My past six years would have been very different without these women in my life.

These yearly weekend getaways are getting less necessary as the intenseness of parenting is waning - our kids are getting bigger and not so emotionally or physically draining as they once were. And yet, they are at the same time getting even more necessary as we get less and less time to spend together. Our big kids are all in kindergarten and are busier than ever. All of us work- either part time, full time, or taking grad classes. This trip is our time to reconnect, to regroup and check in with each other about how things are going.

I love these women so much, and think that I am a better woman for knowing them.

Busy Busy Busy

This is what I got done today- I cooked myself a bagel for breakfast, snacked for lunch, and ate delicious pasta that I did not make for dinner. I drank coffee and bonded with friends. I knitted. I walked on the beach. This is how one truly recharges her battery.

Beach weekend begins!

This is the weekend of recovery. Of escape. From jobs, from responsibilities, from children who need need need, from dogs who's wet noses feel uncomfortably cold against your feet as you try to put on socks. It is the 4th annual Beach Weekend trip with my very close friends. The plan for the weekend includes: NOTHING. We take walks on the beach if its not too rainy. We bring some sort of project to work on while we chat  - I picked knitting only because it took the least amount of thought and planning. We drink coffee, drink alcohol, play cards, take turns making meals and doing the dishes and wonder if life with sister-wives ever feels this good.

The photo above is the view from the house we have stayed at for the last 2 or 3 years. Awesome.

The Super-Gross Dinner

This terrible fuzzy picture shows the aftermath of the least fun dining out experience we have had in the last year or two. We were at ChaChaCha, and Zach notices some dirt in the corner of Little D's eye. I had noticed it before as well, but left it alone, figuring we could wash his face with a wet washcloth at bedtime. When I picked him up from school he was extra sandy from a particularly exuberant time outside. I washed him off when we got home, but missed the dirty eye-booger in the dark of the bathroom.

So I take a damp napkin edge and try to grab the eye dirt, and it doesn't budge - in fact, it acts incredibly stuck. Little D is being an amazing trooper and cooperating to the best of his ability, keeping still, trying to both keep his eye open and his eyeball focused away from my napkin. I pull down on his lower lid to uncover something that I could not wrap my brain around. Zach said when he first saw it, he thought it was a giant dead bug that had gotten lodged in his eye. My first thought was that it was some horrible blood clot and that he was going to start having a stroke or something any second. The cantina style lights were not helping, but upon very close inspection, I saw it was a pile of sand. More like a sac of sand, because the pile of sand was surrounded by mucus-y gunk, which I am sure Little D's body was working on to protect his eye. I must mention at this point that Little D and I had been together for almost 4 hours, with no complaints or eye-rubbing.

So then I try to keep my cool as I try to grab the sand with my napkin, feeling like I am raking this coarse paper across his eyeball each time as I fail again and again. The little sand globber is STUCK. I can see the napkin touch it, start to pull on it, and then the force of the eye mucus is just too strong. At this point D is SCREAMING, and trying trying trying to help as I am sandpapering his eyeball. I tell him that we can wait until we get home (since it obviously wasn't bothering him before we noticed it) but at this point he can see how grossed out both Zach and I are about it that he now NEEDS it out of his eye, more than he needs me to stop scraping at his eye. I take him outside to the patio seating (which is thankfully empty) so that he can scream in peace while I make my final attack. He was an amazing trooper the entire time. He screamed because I am sure it hurt like hell, but never turned his head away or tried to stop me.

Finally, it slithers out like a grotesque sand-slug. It was way more disgusting than I can describe. Take a good look at that blob on the napkin, and think of it tucked in the lower lid of my tiny boy's eye.
Isn't motherhood so very glamorous?

New School

Little D has complained a couple of times about his new school. He claims that there are too many activities, and not enough play time. One of the MANY reasons I wanted to move out of the school he was at was that EVERYTHING was ALWAYS a choice. No one could make a wrong decision, and refusing to do something was totally fine. There were no activities or projects which everyone needed to be a part of, and so for the most part, Little D did not participate. This worked well for my little emotional 2 year-old D, but I think was helping him turn into a very bossy, stubborn 3.5 year old. I wanted to find a place with a little structure, a few guided age appropriate activities and still plenty of time for play. D and I talked about the fact that this school is a "bigger kid" school where there are more "jobs" to do than at his old "baby" school where he could do anything at any time. He was okay with that answer seems happy every school day when I pick him up. And, as if to prove my point, since starting this school at the beginning of January he has gone from not writing a single letter of his name to writing it all the time - amazing! In the photo above you can see his cubby, which he decorated with pictures he drew of his family. 

Karaoke from Hell

After a day of too many work tasks and too many mom tasks, it ended with a bang.

I had a good time at PubQuiz with my mom, sister and friend Rachel, and on my way home was invited to see a friend of a friend's band as they were being filmed for a documentary. The band was Karaoke from Hell, and apparently they play every Monday night at Dante's. From 10pm-2am. The premise of the band is that they have people up and sing karaoke style fronting their live band. They have a list of hundreds of songs they can play at a drop of a hat. The band was great, and even more amazing were the people who got up to sing. A crazy variety of people including a dude who played an electric cello that had no belly to it - only the long fingerboard piece, and an old ONE ARMED biker named "Lefty" who played harmonica. The guy in the photo was a doppleganger of our friend Justin from California, and rocked hard to Ace of Spades.

It was so entertaining to watch such different and talented people come on stage and sing so well. And so much more entertaining to watch them backed by a live band. It also felt a little like breaking the rules to be out so late on a "school night."

Teach your child to read with M&Ms

DaVinci was always passionate about books. From 9 months old, looking at books has been her favorite hobby. When we started to teach her to read just before she turned three, it was easy peasy. She so desperately wanted to read that she worked really hard, and all of the hours of looking at books seemed to pay off. Within 4 or so months, she was a full on reader.

Little D has been a bit harder. He likes books and loves to be read to, but equally loves to make up stories or to be told made up stories. This is also wonderful - it is fascinating to hear what is going on in that little (well not so little) head. When either parent takes him up to bed, he asks for a "Story from your mouth" which means something we make up, typically featuring Prince D and Princess S (although in the last month, DaVince has asked to be called Madame Knight DaVinci in stories... which is totally awesome).

I love telling stories, but appreciate the power of a kid being able to read a book anytime they want. I started working with him on reading last summer and it was rough. He got tired very easily, and didn't want to stick with it and try hard. Because he does not have the same passion about books, the end prize of reading was not exciting enough for him. We had a sticker chart, and gave him a small prize every 10 reading lessons. Not enough. So we took a break.

In the last couple of months, he has become way more interested in books and letters, and so I thought I would try again, but with a new plan... Candy. Now, we put 5 M&Ms and 5 Jellybeans in a cup in front of us. As we go through the reading lesson, if Little D starts to fuss, I eat a piece of candy. Whatever is left at the end is his. The first lesson I ate two candies, the second I ate one and since then, nothing. He is excited to do the lessons, and he is very conscious of not fussing - something we could use in the rest of our interactions with him. And his reading is totally taking off. I finally believe that he may be a reader in the next few months.

I know it is not important to teach him to read this early. I know that if he goes to kindergarten not reading that he will learn (and much more quickly than now!). But I feel like teaching a child to read is like giving them a superpower, and selfishly, I like working to bestow that power onto my kids. Reading is awesome, and I can't imagine Little D having to wait 2 more years to read on his own.

PS - the book I swear by (pictured above) is "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons."

Working at Dragon Planet

Zach and I got a ton of work done this morning... From the comfort of Dragon Planet. I posted about this place on MLK day, and here we are again. With Zach in grad school and working 40 hours a week, he is constantly working or studying. I am heading into my busy season at work, so there is always more work than I can get done in my 20 hours at the office. And of course, now I have a blog to keep up on too. So, here we are, working away. I wanted to invite friends to come and play with us, to sit and chat while our kids play. But no, we decided to get work done while the kids were occupied so that we can spend the afternoon with them. Now home to unpack our new treadmill!

This one goes out to my mother

Meet the upgraded version of the kids' bikes - now with sails.

My mother is not super comfortable with our SE PDX lifestyle. She spends a lot of time worrying that something bad will happen to one of us, and then we go and do things like have them bike on the sidewalk at breakneck speed as we jog to keep up with them. I get this, and I share some of her fears, and yet... I keep them as safe as I can, and teach them to watch for cars, stop and wait for us at corners. I keep my eye out for cars coming down the road to make sure they are not pulling into a driveway. I am constantly vigilant. I know that bad things can happen even while I keep and eagle-eye out. But I also know that bad things can happen while we sit at home doing nothing at all, or while we drive in our car to a park where they can ride without fear of driveways.

And I love these rides. The kids get along and laugh, and Zach and I get to be together, admiring the strength of our kids as they make it up a steep hill, cringe as Little D careens back down the hill with his feet high off the ground. My mother knows how much we love it, and so instead of sending me articles about kids getting run over, she bought us the flags you see above. They are HUGE, and they serve three purposes: 1) They provide an interesting balance challenge for Little D as they sway in the wind and counteract his movements. 2) Flying over 6 feet high, they give a good heads-up to people passing by in cars to watch out. 3) They are a constant, not unpleasant reminder from my mother not to dare let my guard down, even for a second. My mom and dad see our kids almost every weekend, care for them while we get some adult time, and love them to death. I appreciate how important grandma and bubba are to my kids' lives, and how important the kids are to grandma and bubba's lives.

Rock N Roll

It was nice out today after school, so we stayed to play on the playground for about an hour, and I got a glimpse into DaVinci's recess antics while little D was off playing with a friend who used to go to his school. She started out by herself, rolling a small rock down a hill to some imagined target. She would adorably stick out her tongue, roll the rock, pump her fist and say "Yes!" as she ran down the hill after the rock. She was quickly joined by a couple of girls in her class who played a few rounds of Rock Roll with her. Then they all ran off to rescue a boy who was "trapped" by another boy, and then DaVinci came back to play a few more rounds by herself. I love this about her. I love that she is both easily able to play with others, but is also completely comfortable by herself. I hope she can keep both of these skills throughout her life. 

The New and Improved DaVinci

I love my daughter. There are SO MANY things that have always been awesome about her. Too many to list here. My list of not awesome things is remarkably small, and in the past month has been reduced by one major one - EATING. DaVinci has been a picky eater since starting on solid foods. She used to gag and even throw up on the slightest chunk of tomato in tomato soup. She used to chew on bites of scrambled eggs for minutes, until they expanded as they became saturated with the saliva in her mouth to the point of gagging. Difficult. She hated beans. BEANS! The girl does not want to eat meat but she won't eat beans.

And then, suddenly, like a beautiful spring day after a long grey winter, she changed. This girl of ours now eats almost anything. She will try whatever you put on her plate, and will eat a decent enough amount that we don't have to argue with her. This includes Eggs! Beans! Pasta sauce - with tomato chunks! Those of you reading this who have known DaVinci for years (which I guess is probably most/all of you) will know what an accomplishment this is. I remember a time staying with our friend Titian in California when Davinci was probably 1ish. Davinci was eating in the highchair, and started to gag on something. I paid no attention, because she always gagged on everything. Before I know it, Titian is flying across the room, flinging the highchair tray away to rescue DaVinci by giving her a baby heimlich. She moved so fast that I think Titian had her out of the chair before I could tell her that was just how DaVinci ate. Or as the Griswold's say "That's just the dog, yakking on a bone."

I am proud of all the accomplishments and developments that both of our kids achieve. But this one, the one where we just eat food? Not just our favorite, limited array of food, but whatever food is provided to us? Maybe the most useful.

Ahhh Portlandia

 I am still learning the tricks of dog ownership - for instance, I still don't know what time the switchover happens between middle school field and dog park madness. Apparently 3:45 on a Tuesday is the wrong answer. Fortunately we went and got the neighbor's dog for some backyard mini-park madness. Walking home from the dog park after an unsuccessful attempt to park the dog I spotted the "vehicle" above. So the photo is of, well, I have no idea. The barrels which serve as wheels are lined with treads, there are handlebars, a bell, what might have been part of an engine. My mysterious object comprehension ability reached max capacity well before I fully understood this crazy thing. And yes of course here it is, parked on the street 3 blocks from my house in the middle of crazy Portland. Once you live here for a certain amount of time you expect ALL of the horse hitch rings on the sidewalk to have tiny plastic horses tied to them. The place is charmingly whack-a-doodle.

In other news, the chickens love their new extended run, and Maybelle is growing back her feathers.
Also, I just discovered that one of the guys who does radiolab has a blog. I love it.

E-Adventures past and present

DaVinci is super fun to hang out with. She is wicked smart, has a great sense of humor, and can walk a good distance without complaining. One of the things we are having a great time with right now is a videogame called SimAgents on the Wii. It is a fun game with a good mix of puzzles, mini games, funny dialogue, and cute costumes. She controls the main controller, and I use the nunchuck for moving the character around. It is so much fun to spend time with her playing a game so cooperatively with her.

One of the best parts about it is that it takes me straight back to the mid 80's, playing games with my dad. We had a Tandy Computer, which at the time was very fancy. On floppy disk we got the game King's Quest (and its sequels). The game was so much fun, for many of the same reasons I like SimAgents. I clearly remember my dad laying on the floor next to the computer desk, head propped up on pillows. I was in the office chair, controlling the game. Each time you left one screen for the next (using, of course, the arrow keys... at this point there was no mouse) you had to wait about 2 minutes for the next screen to load. This was time for my dad and I to hang out. I never remember talking as much with my dad as I do during those games. We drew maps of the land to help us get around (with two minute per screen loads, you did NOT want to get lost) and only sometimes had to use the hint book - which came with a yellow marker that would make the hidden hints visible.

So many people have a gut reaction to video games, and say that they are only bad. I understand that unchecked kids can make bad decisions (as they can about almost anything). But the experience and memories I have of time spent with my dad in front of the computer, and the good times I am now sharing with my daughter are only enriching our lives. The game is one of many many things I do with my daughter, just as Kings Quest was only one of the many things I did with my dad, but it is without a doubt, a good thing.

Polygamy and far away lands

Little D and I got married today. He told me we just needed to give each other a smooch on the neck, and that he is working on our rings. What a cutie. Z says he remembers getting married to his mom too. What is it about these boys - so sweet and huggy and kissy, and then at some point during adolescence it leaves... I am sad just thinking about it. But then again, do I really want 13 year old D wishing he could marry me?  

Other than our quickie wedding, Z and I spent much of the day cleaning the house and finishing the chicken run. Our big outing of the day was a scuut bike/scooter ride to the playground. Very exciting stuff people. 

I am aching to travel and am therefore trying to plan out a few family excursions in the coming months. If we get our passports in time, we may try to head up to Canada for Spring Break. This summer I would like to do a few camping trips. But what I REALLY REALLY want is to travel to Europe. I would like to go with the kids, but know that they are not ready for a trip like I would want to do it, and it would not be worth the cost of them going (yet-eventually they will be awesome travelling companions). When we applied for the passports, Little D asked what they were for, and I told him they were our tickets to far away lands. We spent the next couple of hours talking about what kinds of lands we would visit. We talked about snorkeling, going to the desert, visiting castles, cities that you have to travel through by boat, etc. Every time we came up with a new place he added it to his mental list (which was an invisible list he put marks on and stored in his mouth). The only place that he refused to put on this list was visiting an active volcano. Can't say I blame him (although I would like to visit one). 

Chicken Run

And I thought we would have to wait months for a sunny weekend day to get the chicken run expansion built. But here we are, with a beautiful sunny January day and no other things on the agenda. It is hard to see in the photo, but there is mesh netting above the run to keep the chickens from getting out. Next free sunny weekend I would like to paint the chicken wire black to help it blend in a little better. Hopefully this will give the chickens a bigger area to hang out in so that Gertie doesn't pluck and then eat Maybelle. Now the dog can have the yard and the birds will stay in their coop and run. This also has the added bonus that there will be only one species of poop to clean out of the main yard area, and that Tashi will come inside with better breath.

Before we started the chicken project, Tashi and I went to the dog park for the very first time. We have a REALLY big off leash area 3 blocks from our house and it is awesome. Lots of super nice people and dogs, and Tashi is in heaven. Filthy, dirty heaven.

DaVinci the Time Traveller

Half of the kids in DaVinci's class walked out with these taped together "vests" today. DaVinci made them all. For anyone who wanted them. But here's the really funny part. I heard other kids saying to their parents "DaVinci made it. Its my armor." When I asked DaVinci about it in the car, she said "Well, I told people that its armor, but actually they are time travel vests. They let you blend in to any time period." I asked her why she told the kids that it was armor, and she said "Well you can't just tell everyone about time travel. Its kind of a secret. You can only tell the people you want to join in the time travel." This is what my daughter does at every recess now - time travel with a group of 6 other girls using the "Time Travel Tree," which is an actual giant oak tree that grows on their playground. The mythology of this tree grows and develops each recess - how it works, what items are useful for travelling back to the present, etc. It is incredibly complex, and DaVinci gets exasperated when I ask too many questions about it. I know they travel to the past and the future, to destinations which include Dinosaur Land, Egypt, and Cherry Blossom Land. I could not be more happy that this is what the girls at school are doing. There will be so many years of Hannah Montana (or her ilk) and other inane bothersome girl stuff that will drive me mad. But this year, for right now, this awesome group of girls have the power of time travel and are working together to make their own rules. Love love love this.

Moms are moms are moms

Little D and I spent the morning at my friend Miranda's house. She is an awesome lady, good friend, great blogger and super mom. She is a few years younger than me, and had her kids at the same ages I did, and the same age apart. Hanging out with her is like looking backwards into my life three years (although more like the movie version of my life where I am taller, thinner, and more beautiful). The experiences of raising young children are so uniting - the sleepless nights, the long (sometimes lonely) days, the loss of yourself outside of your identity as a mom. I have never had so much in common with a group of people as I do now. I see mothers with their young children and see myself. We are all so much more alike than we are different.

The other great thing about visiting Miranda is that I can get my baby fix. I don't actually want more babies myself, but I sure do need to smell a baby head every so often.

I kinda wish I hadn't.

DaVinci lost another tooth today... Well, more accurately, I may have taken a tooth. You see, it was just so wiggly, just barely hanging on. Like a piece of peeling paint, like a falling off scab, like a, well, something that you just want to hurry along. We were at a Mexican restaurant and she was eating a cheese quesadilla, using the side of her mouth to bite. I then held the quesadilla for her, gave her a bite, and then yanked it as she was chomping down. I hadn't intended to do such a thing when I put the bite to her lips, but, well, something came over me and I did it. The tooth popped right out, much to DaVinci's surprise and Z's total disgust and horror. It bled, she cried, and I felt really bad. Whoops. But two minutes later, she was admiring her tooth and excited for the tooth fairy. Z was still shuddering...

I solemnly swear, here in front of the 5 people who read this, that I will NEVER yank a tooth again. Unless I am asked nicely by the owner of the loose tooth.

My little Mountain Goats

I bought my first Groupon right after Christmas for a place called "The Circuit Gym." It is a bouldering gym, which means a place to climb without ropes. This particular place has a large kids area, with lots of easier sections to climb up. In the kids area, once you get to the top you climb over the wall onto a platform which leads to a slide you take back down. The Groupon was for a 3 week pass, and I bought one for each kid. At first, D was nervous to even do the easiest section, and needed me to climb up right behind him, touching him the whole time. Today was the last day of our passes, and as you can see here, he no longer needs my help. He was able to do five of the sections all by himself, and he was buzzing with pride.

DaVinci is AMAZING at climbing, and can do all but one of the sections by herself. The last section has an overhang, so you are climbing a wall that is leaning towards you, and even that she is able to do with only one or two "bumps" from me as she lets go with a hand to grab further up. I can visibly see the muscles in every part of her body now, and I am so proud of how much she can do. The strongest person she knows is her Uncle Andrew, and she kept showing me the scraped skin on the palms of her hands, asking excitedly if they would get tough like Andrew's. He keeps threatening us that he will take her on his adventurous climbing trips when she is 13, and it looks like his wish just might come true. 

I myself am becoming more brave as a parent, allowing my ever growing kids to climb up tall walls even though it makes me nervous. I am now constantly walking that fine line between keeping them safe and letting them grow. I'm just happy I don't have to think about riding in friends' cars yet. 

Dragon Planet

I spent the Martin Luther King holiday with seemingly every other parent and child in Portland at PlayDate PDX. It is a giant indoor play structure that is 1) knight and dragon themed and 2) totally awesome. They have a little cafe with a kid friendly menu and area where parents can sit and watch the madness. We went with our friends Sarah and her two kids and saw two other kids from our class while we were there. The big girls did a great job of leading the little boys around, although they didn't actually seem to need the help. Everyone got along fantastically and without our help. We fed them, watered them, and gave them a place to rest and the rest of the time they busied themselves within the belly of the beast. Its times like this I feel like I could have a few more kids...

In other MLK news, DaVinci spent a car ride last week explaining to me all she had learned that day about Dr Martin Luther King Jr. I LOVE hearing her explain things that I have never talked with her about, and hearing the way our expert Kindergarten teacher Jill explains the tricky topic of segregation and the civil rights movement. She did a great job, and Stella was really impressed with Dr King for his bravery. Yay public school!

In the Zone

When DaVinci started preschool, I had a 5 month old Baby D. I wasn't sleeping through the night, was the only source of food for D, and was constantly standing and swaying to keep him asleep. One of DaVinci's classmates was a sweet girl named Sophie who had a big sister in kindergarden named Isabelle. I remember watching them and their parents and thinking of what a phase they were in. I couldn't wait for the future when I had two kids I could play and joke and laugh with. Kids who were big and could do so many little things on their own, but were still little enough to think their parents are awesome and whose troubles are small.

Three years later, and we are living the life. This IS what I expected, and it is a blast. This picture was requested by D, who you can see is SO PROUD that he can swing in the big kid swing. He is funny, brave, excitable and passionate, often kind, and very giving with hugs and kisses. DaVinci is one of the greatest kids ever: smart, strong, fair and brave. and shares so many of my interests that I think we will have plenty to do together for years to come.

I often think about the phrase "The grass is always greener on the other side." I know that often we look at things and desire them without the complete picture in mind. In this case, having a 3 and 6 year old is WAY GREENER than a baby and toddler. I miss many things about those baby days, but not nearly as many as I love about the days we have now.

Roller-Fiasco

DaVinci's class had a roller skating party today, and I made the mistake of trying to be a Super Mom/wife. You see, DaVinci also has a birthday party to go to on Sunday and D had nothing special to do. As I stated previously, he has been a bit of a grump and I think that part of it might be attributed to the monotony of the month of January - the rain, the gray, being cooped up in the house... I know it can get me into a low mood. The skating party was billed as a "family party" so I thought "Great! I can bring both kids and leave Z home to do his grad school homework. Everyone wins!"

I forgot one little thing. Skating is hard.

D falls asleep on the way, there is no parking for blocks so we have to rush through the rain (me carrying the sleepy D of course) yelling at DaVinci to not step in the puddles when frankly its been raining so long and so hard at this point that the whole sidewalk (and maybe the whole city) is one big puddle. I am in a bit of a rush from the get-go because I am shuttling the kids straight from skating to my folks' house so that Z and I can go out for the night to celebrate my BDay. We get inside and the whole place is hot and steamy. I am not built for hot and steamy, so my blood pressure immediately rises. They are out of skates in the sizes we need, I lace up DaVinci's skates all the way, only to then notice that she put them on the wrong feet, etc etc etc.

Then comes the hard part. I guess I was under the mistaken impression that all skate rinks have the little plastic fisher-price skates that snap on to your shoes and then don't actually roll. In my head, I pictured D marching along in those while I held DaVinci's hands and helped her along in "big kid skates." But no, all three of us were in those classic tan high top skates with bright orange wheels. They rolled really well. Neither kid could stay upright. DaVinci was able to work it out enough to hug the wall, and even ventured out a few times into the rink to fall and fall and fall. D was completely hopeless. I took his skates off after about 5 minutes. He was happy to go in the snack room to eat and watch us as I took DaVinci a couple of times around the rink. She got better, but let's just say she is not the most coordinated child. And it was so hot. It took all of my muscles and balance to hold her flailing body upright and keep myself from falling. Did I mention I was hot? After a couple of times around we joined D for a snack, turned in our skates and hit the road.

On the plus side, D did not fuss and complain that he couldn't skate, and DaVinci had a great time. I would like to go to a skate rink again minus D to focus more on teaching DaVinci to skate. I LOVED skating as a kid (and still like it) and would love to share that with her.

Z did a great job of coordinating our night. We sat at a coffee shop and drank coffee, went to dinner at Three Doors Down, where we had a delicious meal and the best seat in the house, browsed books at Powells, and saw "The Kings Speech," which was really good. When we got home, we took a trip down memory lane and looked at the photo albums from our trips overseas before we had kids. It was great to share the memories of the places we went, make fun of Z's dorky haircuts through the ages, and to reflect on how long we have known each other, and how much of our experience is shared between us. We have now known each other for half of our lives, and have a staggering amount of history in common. The kids create so much volume in our lives and fill our days so full that it is really important to have time for just the two of us. We are able to tell complete stories without interruption, and are able to really talk and enjoy each other's company. We are really fortunate to have family in town that are so good with the kids that we can just drop them off without worry, knowing that they are being loved and appreciated (and often spoiled).

Sibling Love

For now the pox on our house seems to have lifted. Everyone is healthy again, although D is being a complete grump (he seems to work on a cycle of grump, so in a week or so he should be awesome again, at least temporarily).  My lovely sister Amie took me out for my birthday and I had such a good time. We ate dinner at La Halla, and I had my first birthday dessert - a delicious, ooey gooey baklava. Yum. After we saw an amazing documentary called Marwencol which is... well... I just tried to write a summary of the movie, and it either sounds crazy or stupid. Look it up, watch a trailer, or just trust me and go see it. Really Good.

The most important part of the night is that I had a great time with my sister. She is truly a wonderful friend and we have such a good time hanging out together. If we were not sisters, we would still be friends. This was not always the case. She is five years older than me, and growing up we did not get along. We have a running joke that if I did stand up comedy, I could do a whole routine on the horrible things she did to me as a child. I was a pesky little brat who knew how to push her buttons, and she was a tyrannical ruler. If you had told us at 11 and 16 that we would be friends as adults, I don't think either of us would have believed it. And yet, here we are, good friends who have the additional bond of a shared childhood, and a partner with which to keep fresh the memories of our past.

Besides enjoying her companionship, the other benefit of our friendship is that it gives me a great long-view of my children's interactions. As they grow I know that they will have bumps and turns in their relationships, and I imagine that they will grow apart in the space of their school years. I will try my hardest to teach them to respect and love each other throughout those years, but in the end even a discordant relationship can have a glorious ending.

Love you Aim.

Grump and a haircut...

Here is the shaggy little man getting a haircut today... Isn't he sweet? We get his hair cut at the same little hipster walk-in haircut place that we get our own hair done, and I like to think that D himself is responsible for fewer unplanned pregnancies in the Portland hipster community with every haircut he gets. He is not screaming, not throwing a fit, but being a TOTAL pain, and saying "OWWW!" every time the hairdresser touches the comb to his head. I promised him a lollipop for a job well done, and he asked if he could also get one for DaVinci (they collaborate on sweets quite well). But really, this job was NOT well done. Haircut achieved? Yes. Done in a manner I find acceptable? No... And yet, the kid gets the freaking lollipop, because to him, that is the only purpose a haircut serves. He does not care what he looks like, he does not mind constantly brushing his bangs out of the way, he only cares that the end result is a lollipop. And I almost never brush his hair, so I know it probably does hurt more than if I brushed it every day (and he may have inherited the worlds wimpiest scalp on his y chromosome). I just need to remember that next time, I should remind myself that the lollipop is the end result of any haircut, not just a good one. There is an ice cream place next door...

In other, animal related news...
Naked Cat: My oldest cat has a bald spot on her back that is getting bigger, and two vets do not really know what to do about it.

Naked Chicken: I just noticed today that one of the chickens is pecking all the feathers off the other chicken's back... Crap. I know its because they are cooped up so much now because of the dog, and that I need to make their run bigger. Here I am, keeping them enclosed for fear of Tashi killing one of them, and now it looks like they may just eat each other. Looking on the interwebs, possible solutions (aside from the already planned but yet to be executed increase in space) include vaseline or vicks vapo-rub on the pecked spot, hanging cds/cabbage/seed blocks for them to peck. I will let you know how it goes.

Dog Lesson Learned:  Let it be known that on this day I finally came to understand the ancient Chinese Proverb: "Do not wait until after rainstorm to clean up dog poop." I am also pretty sure that what I saw today is where the term "shit storm" originated.

Working from home, and slightly more birthday magic

I felt much better today and was able to get in a full day of work from home. At home, of course, because D is still recovering from being sick. This winter is the first time that D being sick isn't the worst thing to plague the entire house. Sick babies and sick toddlers are miserable for all involved. You feel terrible for them and there is not much you can do. They are mad that they feel bad and cannot settle to sleep because they are so mad/feel so bad. D has finally graduated to sick preschooler. He can be sick and mopey, uncomfortable but able to be comforted (and distracted by tv and fruit popsicles). And he can totally settle himself to sleep, even through a stuffy nose and fever.

Today D was operating at about 75%, and I was able to work with very little distraction (certainly less distraction than the average day in my office). It is a huge milestone for us, and will prevent me from falling too far behind on future sick-kid days (which based on our current rate should be sometime at the end of next week).

In other news, today was decidedly more birthday-ey.

I got a beautiful and unexpected bouquet of flowers from my wonderful friend Titian for my birthday. I am not a "flowers" girl, and there is absolutely no expectation for Z to get me flowers on any given holiday. This I think makes me appreciate flowers all the more on the rare occasions I get them, and it was a delightful surprise. And it was super funny to hear DaVinci say "Uh Mom, there's a guy at the door holding a bunch of flowers." Good thing Titian didn't get me a stripper.  "Uh Mom, there's a policeman at the door in really short-shorts with a boom box on his shoulder." Awk-ward... I was going to feature the lovely flowers as my shot for the day, but I cannot get a photo in this dreary darkness that does them justice, so I refuse.

This evening I went out to dinner with two of my friends to chat and eat food. Z always wonders what we talk about for 3 hours (in a row!) but I always feel like there is more to say. As our kids get bigger, the opportunities we have to get together come fewer and farther between and I miss the frequencies of our weekly playgroups. And as for the food, even though I had to stop at a gas station for Tums on the way to dinner to settle my stomach I was able to enjoy a few delicious items. Still no chocolate or dessert of any kind, so the birthday has not officially come to a close.

Another one bites the dust...

Now I think that rather than a game of catch, our sickness passing is more like a game of dodge-ball, and the kids and I totally suck at it and are always getting pegged.

Last night D joined us in the land of the sick, except with different symptoms. Grrr. We both felt pretty crummy all day today and DaVinci stayed home but felt better (you can't exactly send a kid back to school the day after they throw up in their classroom). By the end of the day, D was feeling well enough to have his new favorite food, chicken soup. By the way, he likes the noodles and pieces of chicken, but doesn't see the point of the "chicken water."

Oh and did I mention it is my birthday? Yeah I'm not really counting it either. I didn't feel like eating, and so had nothing containing chocolate, no candle to extinguish. It was the birthday of a parent.  I have to say that even though many many people have mocked Facebook, one of the bright points of my day was seeing all the birthday wishes from friends I have made over the last 26 years. It is such a simple gesture, even easier than an email... but it really did make me feel good on what was otherwise a pretty dreary day.

And how do I feel at 33? I feel the most like me I have ever felt. I hope that this is the adult me that I will stay into my old age. I am more confident than I have ever been -  but rather than a confidence of arrogance, it is the confidence of humility. I am finally aware of just how many people are sharing my experience (or a much harder experience) and that there are so many equally good choices and NO absolutely right choices. I feel like I can make the best choice with the information I have and that most always it is a choice that will work, and if it doesn't I can make something work. I am still young enough and strong enough to hike, crawl, climb, and play with the kids, but old enough to always be treated like an adult.

I am at this point in my life happy with my family, friends, home, and life in general... which gives me a certain sense of underlying worry that something terrible might come sweeping through and mess it all up. (thanks goes out to my mother for passing on that particular trait)

Sick... Again.

So I got super duper duper sick in the middle of the night last night and was up most of the night feeling terrible. Z got the kids off to school, and I laid zombie-like around the house until I got a call at 11:15 from DaVinci's school saying that she threw up... Yuck. Every grownup I have talked to this about feels So Bad for her (as do I), but apparently she has not hit the age of embarrassment about bodily functions yet. I think the kids at school must either feel bad for her, or think its awesome. She felt crummy, but was not at all upset about having gotten sick at school. I am really thankful for that. I am much less thankful at what feels like the constant cycle of sick that has been our last month. DaVinci, D and I seem to be passing around sickness like a game of catch, where the ball is varyingly sneezing, vomiting, coughing and/or fever. Z has remained above the fray, and has decided to hedge his bets and sleep on the couch until I have recovered. I feel like the DaVinci in particular typically has a super strong immune system, and D and I are not particularly "sickly." But for some reason this has been a really rough season for us.

Above is a pic of DaVinci laying in front of the fire to get warm and nap, when the sweet pup decided to get in on the action. Adorable.

Utopia

So, the pic is not great.. not even good. I think its funny to start this "blog a day" project in the middle of winter when our activities are low, our outdoor time is limited and our sickness is high because it makes for lots of poorly lit, poorly planned pics of our messy house with messy kids in mismatched pajamas (and in this case part of a knight's costume). I also think that is sort of the point of the blog, to catch what our time is actually like in the day-to-day, in between the amazing adventures.

The reason I chose this poor photo is that it allows me to tell you about the BEST part of our lives these days. The kids are doing the most amazing thing. Incredible. Unimaginable. They are playing. TOGETHER. A game of their own creation, with their own set of rules, that has nothing to do with us. It is a great thing about having the basement, because this cooperation is only possible when the kids are not on the same floor of the house as us.

The game pictured is "Little Paws" in which DaVinci is a prospective dog owner who adopts, bring home and trains her new dog "Little Paws," played by D. Much of the game involves her throwing pieces of dry cereal and D runs after them on all fours and eats them. Gross, but also awesome. DaVinci is always the owner in Little Paws, but lately they have also been playing Robot and I am pretty sure they take turns in the roles of robot and commander. The reason I don't KNOW how the game works is that the kids playing cooperatively together is like Santa or the Tooth Fairy. They only get along when you seem to be ignoring them.

This whole "ignoring kids in the basement" has not been an easy concept for Z. He is an AMAZING father, and considers every minute that he is home and that the kids are awake as the his time to do the kids' bidding. For many years of their lives, this was exactly what they needed. Now as they are getting older, time alone or with each other is maybe equally as important as directed play time with us. My friend Sarah calls it benign neglect, and I think there is something to it. And it also means Z and I get to do crazy things during the day like write blogs and read books!

Lost Tooth!

DaVinci lost her first baby tooth tonight at dinner!
We had a very mellow day at home today and decided to finally leave the house and hit Hopworks for dinner. When I saw DaVinci biting the pretzel from the side to avoid her loose tooth, I told her she should bite on the pretzel and let it do the work of removing the tooth. She tried to no avail and then little D pipes up - "She should bite on something harder like celery. That will probably work." You know, because he has so much experience with loose teeth at 3.5 years old. Our entrees come, we tell DaVinci to bite into the celery and sure enough, POP! the tooth comes out! She was startled and excited all at the same time. Too cute. I don't think she is ever going to fall asleep tonight because she is waiting for the tooth fairy. In the photo above, you can see the little "Tooth Fairy Pillow" I made for her awhile back. Her tooth is now safely nestled in its pocket.

I cannot believe how small the tooth she lost is... it is tiny, fragile, and nothing at all like the tooth it will be replaced by. I can't help feeling that the same transition is happening to DaVinci all over... I am excited to see how much she is growing and changing, getting stronger, smarter, funnier, more patient, kinder, but at the same time I mourn for the things we are losing, never to get back again - the lisping high voice, the chubby cheeks, pudgy legs, laughing while nursing, baby with a million sign language signs for the world around her, excited to talk about every little thing. What a constant heartache children can be, even when everything is going (mostly) beautifully...