Just a quick post, something for me to remember forever and always.
We all went to see "Go Dog Go" today at the Northwest Children's Theater. Kids thought it was great, I thought it was great for the kids. I don't actually care if I remember it or not. But, when we got back from intermission I told Zach that it was chilly in the theater. As he begins to ask if I would like his coat, Little D stops him and says "No, Mama, here take my coat" and then took of his coat and draped it over me. Well, OK its a bit much to say that his tiny coat draped - it covered me like a napkin tucked into my collar - but it warmed me all the way to my soul. That little guy is maybe the sweetest thing I know.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Far better than it could be...
I haven't been posting lately because I have been very extremely busy. And just. so. tired.
Work is not the greatest right now, the weather is gray, dreary, and mostly wet. Zach has been so busy and crazed from work and I thought he was going to burn the house down because he found rats in the basement. My new car has a lovely new car smell which can only be squelched by the immense guilt in the pit of my stomach that plagues me every time I even think about the car, a guilt that grows as I literally watch the meter on the gas gauge sink as I drive. I am worried about which school is best for the kids, stressed that our nation is owned by the greediest bunch of assholes in the whole wide world. Worried that everything I do in my life is participating in the destruction of our planet...
And yet... oh boy. I am overwhelmed by the meaninglessness of each and every one of my worries in comparison with what is happening in Japan. I watch the videos of the tsunami and wonder how I could possibly imagine that I have anything wrong with my life. I do not believe in god, do not believe in much of anything but science and being good and kind to one another because its right. But I can't shake the feeling that if I get too wrapped up in my daily humdrum worries, life will knock me on my butt with a horrible wake up call. You think you've got problems now? Wait 'til you get a load of what I have in store for you...
When my sister and I were teens and would complain about not getting enough sleep, my mom used to say "Its just tired." and we didn't understand. And then I had babies, and nights upon nights of waaay too little sleep. I stumbled through days in a daze, and still managed to survive - taking care of a small helpless baby at the same time! And now tired doesn't phase me at all. The kind of tired I face now is nothing in comparison to the baby times. I feel like my problems and stresses right now are all just background noise, stuff to take the place of real problems. If something really bad happened to me or my family I wouldn't give a second thought to any of the things I stress about now.
So, I will give money to the Red Cross. I will worry for the people of Japan. I will keep my eye on the potential for nuclear meltdown... but I wil also try to honor the people who are suffering in a different way. I will make an effort to let more of the pointless worry go away. I will try to feel more thankful everyday for the bounty of happiness and health I am lucky enough to have. I cannot comprehend what the people in Japan are dealing with right now, but I can make sure to appreciate my lack of comprehension...
Here is my little shuffleboard player... I am thinking of taking her to a retirement center to play some shuffleboard with the elderly. I think they would get a big kick out of her, and she loves her some shuffleboard, and being the center of attention.
Work is not the greatest right now, the weather is gray, dreary, and mostly wet. Zach has been so busy and crazed from work and I thought he was going to burn the house down because he found rats in the basement. My new car has a lovely new car smell which can only be squelched by the immense guilt in the pit of my stomach that plagues me every time I even think about the car, a guilt that grows as I literally watch the meter on the gas gauge sink as I drive. I am worried about which school is best for the kids, stressed that our nation is owned by the greediest bunch of assholes in the whole wide world. Worried that everything I do in my life is participating in the destruction of our planet...
And yet... oh boy. I am overwhelmed by the meaninglessness of each and every one of my worries in comparison with what is happening in Japan. I watch the videos of the tsunami and wonder how I could possibly imagine that I have anything wrong with my life. I do not believe in god, do not believe in much of anything but science and being good and kind to one another because its right. But I can't shake the feeling that if I get too wrapped up in my daily humdrum worries, life will knock me on my butt with a horrible wake up call. You think you've got problems now? Wait 'til you get a load of what I have in store for you...
When my sister and I were teens and would complain about not getting enough sleep, my mom used to say "Its just tired." and we didn't understand. And then I had babies, and nights upon nights of waaay too little sleep. I stumbled through days in a daze, and still managed to survive - taking care of a small helpless baby at the same time! And now tired doesn't phase me at all. The kind of tired I face now is nothing in comparison to the baby times. I feel like my problems and stresses right now are all just background noise, stuff to take the place of real problems. If something really bad happened to me or my family I wouldn't give a second thought to any of the things I stress about now.
So, I will give money to the Red Cross. I will worry for the people of Japan. I will keep my eye on the potential for nuclear meltdown... but I wil also try to honor the people who are suffering in a different way. I will make an effort to let more of the pointless worry go away. I will try to feel more thankful everyday for the bounty of happiness and health I am lucky enough to have. I cannot comprehend what the people in Japan are dealing with right now, but I can make sure to appreciate my lack of comprehension...
Here is my little shuffleboard player... I am thinking of taking her to a retirement center to play some shuffleboard with the elderly. I think they would get a big kick out of her, and she loves her some shuffleboard, and being the center of attention.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)